the real dave strider

SUPLEEX

smarmylesbianpsychiatrist:

I have decided to post this picture before David gets the chance to. Or so he can find it and reblog it. One or the other, I suppose.

shit quit callin me dave you know thats not a real name actual people have
oh and fuck you for all this thundertheft bs dont you think i wanted to put this film up on my blog
now youve gone and ruined it rose
youve ruined it for everyone
how do you sleep at night

I have decided to post this picture before David gets the chance to. Or so he can find it and reblog it. One or the other, I suppose.

shit quit callin me dave you know thats not a real name actual people have

oh and fuck you for all this thundertheft bs dont you think i wanted to put this film up on my blog

now youve gone and ruined it rose

youve ruined it for everyone

how do you sleep at night

honksandhorns started following you

also wassup wanna get a cup of coffee

yeah so i was gone

what do you want me to do announce it to the world every time i vanish off the face of the earth

youre not my real dad you cant tell me what to do

i will pile drive your shit right into a table

I love that Dave seems to have gone completely nuts in the Alpha universe.

 (meteor crash lands on earth)
Dave: oh shit theres a baby in there
Dave: should i take him in and give him a porn star name?
Dave: all signs point to y
 (years later, he is the head of a media empire)
Personal Assistant: Sir, are you sure it's a good idea to publicly declare your rivalry with Crockercorp? Some of the rumours surrounding them are... sketchy, to say the least.
Dave: how dare you
Dave: i am an artiste whose artform has been insulted by unironically shitty propaganda
Dave: this batterbitch has slapped my face with her dainty white glove
Dave: the duel is going DOWN
 (later)
Factory Manager: Mr. Strider, I don't understand your proposal for your product line. Not only does it reference technologies you've only just patented, it is literally the shittiest thing I have ever seen. Including shit.
Dave: do you see this
Dave: these are the shades my main squeeze stiller gave me
Dave: i am the motherfucking pimpdaddy of hollywood
Dave: no one says no to me
 (even later)
Factory Manager: Oh my god, how the fuck are we making money off of this?!
Dave: sorry cant hear you over the sound of me swimming in my own pool of miracle dough
 (even more later)
Personal Assistant: Sir, there have been numerous complaints about your JPEG-based products cluttering up storehouses across the country.
Dave: welp
Dave: the masses have spoken i must do as they demand
Personal Assistant: What sort of disposal method should I arrange for them?
Dave: just dump that shit in the sun
Personal Assistant: ... what.